Pirates Vs Ninjas
by Scoobert0
Summary: Everyone knows that pirates and ninjas don't get along.  What happens when Dean thinks him and Sam are pirates and Cas is a ninja?  Pure, unabashed Crack!


**AN: Obviously, as per usual, I don't know. I was listening the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack when my iPod went into shuffle mode and the 'Ninja Glare' song came on, so I blame that odd mix of music. Pure crack, cause my brain desperately needs it before tomorrow night. Also, for those of you who are waiting for the last chapter in 'The Problem with Pets' I apologize, what I've managed to write for it so far has been forced and I don't want to subject anyone to that. (Also, also; I kinda had a few drinks at this point, so I'm buzzing. Apparently crack abounds with alcoholic influence.)**

**Thanks to **Zeppx **who helped me make some decisions and get me unstuck on parts while I was writing this. :)**

"Aaaaarrrrgh Sammy, we be pirates!" Dean growled from the front of the rowboat they had commandeered.

"Yeah Dean, we're pirates." Sam huffed, rolling his eyes as he rowed them across the lake.

"Nah Sam, you can't say it like that! You have to say 'Yar, we be pirates.'" Dean corrected and he sat down to watch his brother work.

"Whatever dude."

Several minutes passed with the only sound being the rhythmic splashes of the oars hitting the water and Sam's breathing. Without warning a dark figure crashed from the sky, between the two brothers. They both released a startled cry as they scrambled to the far ends of the boat. The figure slowly sat up, shaking his head as though to clear it.

"Ninja!" Dean cried as he kicked his foot out at the man, who easily caught it before it connected with his head, "Totally a ninja!"

"I am not a ninja, Dean." Castiel's gravelly voice told him.

"Whoa, hey Cas! What're you doing in our boat? You do realize that ninjas and pirates don't get along, right? I'm going to have to ask you to leave now." Dean slurred at the angel, pointing somewhere to his left. Cas looked over at Sam worriedly.

"He decided that since we're on a boat, that we must be pirates. He also might have found some rum somewhere." Sam explained, moving up to take the oars and started rowing again, "But what was with that landing Cas? I know we're on a boat, but that was kinda a bad one."

"I- I did not realize you were in this boat. I just needed a place to land and regain my strength."

"You're hurt, aren't you?" Silence greeted Sam's question and he sighed heavily,"Great. A drunk who thinks you're a ninja and you're hurt. This should be fun. You think you could zap to the other side of me so Dean doesn't try kicking your head in again?"

Cas rose halfway before sinking down again, "I do not think I have it in me at this point."

"Ok, that's fine, just- WATCH OUT!" Sam shouted as he saw Dean launch himself at Cas. The angel had no time to brace himself before the hunter's body hit him and sent both of them flying into the dark waters of the lake with a splash. An instant later, both their heads bobbed up to the surface as they sputtered. Cas flailed in the water while Dean managed to grab the edge of the boat.

"Don't you dare flip the boat." Sam yelled at his brother before diving in to retrieve the drowning angel. As soon as he was next to him, Cas clung desperately to his shoulders. All of Cas' normal composure was nonexistent as continued to flail and grope while Sam tried to keep the both of them afloat and get them back to the boat. Once he convinced him to let go of him and hold onto the boat, Sam looked at his brother.

"Dean, you're going to have to help me get him back in the boat."

"No way! He's a ninja, I'm not helping a ninja. Cause, y'know, I'm a pirate. 'Sides, he should just zap himself there. Us too, water is cold."

"Damnit Dean, he's hurt. He can't zap anyone anywhere. Now help me get him up or I swear I will dunk you and give you an atomic wedgies." The older Winchester's eyes widened and he immediately helped Sam get Cas in the boat without tipping it over. Once Sam had pulled himself in, he drug Dean up.

"Now you stay on that side of the boat, with your stupid rum and leave Cas alone." Sam scolded as he sat down between the two and started rowing as fast as he could towards shore. Once they reached the beach he drug his brother over to the Impala, wrapping him in a blanket and pushing him in the passenger seat before turning the car on and cranking up the heat. He returned to the boat and helped the still shaken Castiel over to the car. Wrapping him in another blanket, he positioned him so he was lying in the backseat.

"I know angels don't sleep Cas, but try and rest will you?" The angel nodded and closed his eyes. Moving to the driver's seat, Sam positioned some of the heating vents so they were blowing on him.

"Hey Sammy, guess what?" Dean's muffled voice came from the bundle of blanket he was swathed in.

"You are not a pirate!"

"Yar…"


End file.
